What do you miss?

If you are anything like me, you miss a lot. There are many things that I miss…

✔︎ Seeing my kids every day

✔︎ Having a job that I’m truly passionate about

✔︎ A place of my own to live in

Those are some things I could say that I miss having in my life. Things that at one time or another in my past I had, and right now I don’t have to the same degree that I used to.

However…that is not the question I meant to ask. When I asked “What do you miss?”, I was not asking ‘what do you miss having‘, but rather ‘what to you miss seeing‘?

You see, it’s always easy to see all that we don’t have. It’s so easy to focus only on what we’ve lost in this life, or what we don’t have that we want, or even what we have that isn’t the way we want it exactly.

There will always be things in this life that we miss having. As Peter Quill said in the first Guardians of the Galaxy (yes…I’m a big super hero movie nerd!), “Usually life takes more than it gives”. That may be a line from a movie, but it’s so true.

Yet if all we ever do is look at what we’ve lost or don’t have that we want, then we will not only be constantly battling discouragement, but we will also miss what we really need to be focusing on.

When all we see is what we’ve lost or don’t have that we want, we completely miss seeing all that we do have.

I shared my example list of things I miss earlier…let’s take another look at that list to show what I mean.

✔︎ Seeing my kids every day

Yes, I miss seeing my kids every day. And truthfully, I still don’t understand why exactly I have to live a life apart from them every day, since I’m a good dad (not bragging, just being honest) when there are so many dad’s who do get to see their kids every day and don’t really care.

BUT…I have 4 kids. 4 AMAZING kids. 4 amazing kids that I do get to see on weekends, and do get to call my children, and who call me dad! 4 kids who love me, and who I love. It may not be exactly how I imagined being a dad…but since when does life always go according to plan?

I can choose to be upset about what isn’t what I want, or be thankful for all that I still do have!

✔︎ Having a job that I’m truly passionate about

I may not have the job I am truly passionate about right now, and I have no idea when I will have such a job again. BUT…I spent 15 years building a career that I absolutely loved, and I have many amazing memories from that. There are many people who never work a job they are truly passionate about, so my 15 years is a huge blessing.

AND…I do have a job. How many struggle to find work? I may want something different, but I do have work. And I get to work with a good friend too.

So even if it’s not the perfect job for me, it’s a job!

✔︎ A place of my own to live in

Yea, I’m a 39-year-old man who lives with friends, because in this season of my life a place of my own is not feasible. Truthfully, that’s a tough pill to swallow…and very humbling.

BUT…I have a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in, and a place to sit and relax after work. I have an address where my mail can be sent to (even if most of it is mail I don’t really want). When it’s snowing or raining outside, I can live comfortably inside. It may not be my own place, but I have a home.

I have a place to live!

There could be more things on my list, but you get the point…and so do I (because honestly, I have to learn this truth and remember to have the proper focus regularly as well). There are many things in this life that I miss having, or that I want but don’t have yet. However, I need to make sure to keep my focus on what I do have…on the blessings I do have in my life.

What about you? What do you miss seeing that you have? What do you miss seeing because you’re too busy missing what you don’t have or lost?

I have a challenge for you. Take some time to make a list of the things you miss. List the things in this life that you have that maybe you’ve missed seeing because your focus has been on what you don’t have rather than on what you do.

Also, maybe even consider making a list of things you hope for in your future. Things that you want, you would like to have, and dreams you’d like to see come true. Hope is always a good thing to hold onto…so dare to dream and hope!

It’s hard, I know. Especially if you have lost things you loved. I get that, because I have a hard time doing it too. Yet I also know how powerful this can be…because even just the slightest change of focus, and faintest glimmer of hope, can lift our spirit when we are struggling with only seeing what we’ve lost or don’t have.

Focus on what you have. And hold onto hope for things yet to come.