What do you miss?

If you are anything like me, there are things you could say that you miss having in your life.

Things that at one time or another you had and enjoyed, but right now you don’t have to the same degree that you used to.

Perhaps they are things you thought you’d have, but things just haven’t worked out the way you thought they would.

Or maybe it’s things that you see that others have, and you wish you had them too. And I’m not talking about coveting or taking things away from them and giving them to yourself instead. Rather I mean just seeing what they enjoy and honestly wishing you were able to also enjoy them in your own life as well.

There are things we could say that we miss. Because we used to have them and want them back the same as we had them before. Or because we would like to have them and don’t, so we feel like we are missing out on having them.

However, I think that is actually the wrong way to look at this question. Instead of reading it as ‘what do you miss having‘, a better way to read it would be ‘what do you miss seeing‘?

Let’s be real, it’s always easier to see what we don’t have. To focus only on what we’ve lost in this life, or what we don’t have that we want, or even what we have that isn’t the way we want it to be.

There will always be things in this life that we miss having. As Peter Quill said in the first Guardians of the Galaxy (yes…I’m a big superhero movie nerd!), “Usually life takes more than it gives”. That may be a line from a movie, but it’s so true.

Problem is, if all we ever do is look at what we’ve lost or don’t have that we want, then we will not only be constantly battling discouragement, but we will also miss what we really need to be focusing on. When all we see is what we’ve lost or don’t have that we want, we completely miss seeing all that we do have.

Allow me to share an example from my own life of this…

I miss seeing my family every day. I see my 4 children every other weekend when they come stay with me. And then I see my wife and 2 stepchildren once a month for a week when I get to travel to Texas to see them. Combined, I see them on average about 12-13 days a month.

That is not what I would prefer. It’s not how I thought being a husband and father would be. And if I’m honest, I can easily focus on what I don’t have.

But…

I get to say that I have 6 children all together who I love and get to spend time with. I get to see them and spend time hanging out with them, talking to them, building relationships with them, and getting to be a part of their life. I get the opportunity to be a dad to 6 amazing kids, all uniquely their own.

And I get to say that I am married to an incredible woman who I adore. Who I love spending time with, who encourages and challenges me, and who I get to go through this life with together (whether I’m near or far). She is a blessing to me and our children. I’m thankful that I get to travel as much as I do to spend time with her.

Truth is, it’s not so much about what I don’t have as it is what I do have. I don’t only have 12-13 days a month with them, I get to have 12-13 days each month to focus on them and spend time with them. And I get to talk to them each day even when I’m not with them. And I don’t know what God has in store in the future, but I do need to remember to trust him and be thankful for all he has given me right now.

I could easily focus on what I don’t have that I wish I did. But that will only discourage me and keep me focused on the negative. Or I can choose to focus on all the time I get with them, making sure to prioritize every moment I am given, trusting God for both now and what he has in store in the future, remember to be thankful rather than becoming resentful.

What about you? What do you miss seeing that you have? What do you miss seeing because you’re too busy focusing on what you don’t have?

I have a challenge for you. Take some time to make a list of the things you may have missed seeing. List the things in this life that you have that maybe you’ve missed seeing because your focus has been on what you don’t have rather than on what you do. List your blessings, what is positive, and what you are thankful for.

Also, maybe even consider making a list of things you hope for in your future. Things that you want, you would like to have, and dreams you’d like to see come true. Hope is always a good thing to hold onto…so dare to dream and hope!

It’s hard, I know. Especially if you have lost things you loved. I get that, because I have a hard time doing it too. Yet I also know how powerful this can be…because even just the slightest change of focus, the faintest glimmer of hope, can lift our spirit when we are struggling.

May we focus on and be thankful for what we do have.