At the end of 2018 I took a big step of faith and walked away from being a Pastor. It was the right decision, I know that is true (although there are moments I have doubt…). When I took that step, my plan was to do tree work full time to sustain me financially while I searched for a new career.
But apparently God had different plans.
Before the new year, we had a lot of tree work that kept us very busy. So my plan seemed to be a good one. It seemed. But, since the new year has began, we have not had any work. None!
So I currently have zero income.
I have been applying to places like crazy! To all kinds of different places. Everything from large corporations to jobs that work with teens and kids to restaurants to grocery stores. So it’s not like I haven’t been trying…I definitely have. But so far, nothing yet.
Today as I was praying, I felt like God was showing me that he has freed up my schedule at this time for a purpose.
There’s a book that God laid on my heart to write a while back. A book entitled “Broken”, in which I share my story and what God has been teaching me. The purpose of this book isn’t to air my frustration or reveal secrets…not at all. Rather, the purpose is to be a help and encouragement to others going through difficulties in their own life.
Today I felt as though God said “Time to start writing. Use this extra time I am giving you to start writing this book…and trust me to continue to provide for your needs as you do.”
So I am beginning. That’s the next step of my new journey I guess…to write this book.
I’m still looking for work and in need of income…after all, I still have bills to pay and no money saved to speak of that I could live off of. But as I do, I will now also be writing a book and trusting God to provide what I need.
One thing I’ve always wanted to be true of my life, and one thing I’ve had to learn to do a lot through my journey, is to do what I believe God is leading me to do, even if it doesn’t make sense.
So here goes…
This morning I began writing the introduction. Below is a section of that introduction that I wanted to share now as it gives a glimpse into the heart and purpose of this book…
“… Then I realized something. I realized that the most helpful part of someone’s story isn’t the end result, it’s the process they went through. We most identify with and learn from the difficult part of each other’s story. The end result of a difficult story will look different for each person…but the daily struggle, the emotions, the doubts and fears and questions that we have to work through in the midst of the hard times, that is something we all identify with, as well as what we learn the most from.
Because like it or not, it’s the trials and the difficulty and the hard times that teach us and make us who we are. We learn more about ourselves when we go through struggles than we do when things are good. We come to recognize what we truly care about and what we really want in this life when we experience loss, not when we have everything we want. We discover what our heart wants and doesn’t want when tragedy strikes much more than when all is good and easy. And we begin to see how we long to be loved as well as how we desire to show love when we’ve been hurt and love has been damaged in our life.
I have also come to realize that when we go through hard times, we all have some semblance of hope for a better future to come. Some of us have more hope than others, but all of us hold onto hope in some way. However, it’s in the time before that hope comes, while we are still in the middle of the dark times, that we need to be encouraged and receive help. If we don’t receive those things while in the dark, our hope begins to fade. However, if we can receive help and encouragement, even just a little bit when things are still dark, that will help to renew our hope and keep us focused on a better tomorrow.” …