Yesterday I posted something on Social Media that talked about being hurt, healing, and then moving on. Shortly after that, I removed it. Not because I thought it was wrong…but because I realized it was incomplete, it may not have meant to someone else what it meant to me, and might have come across as insensitive. I removed it so that I could share it in a more complete way, making sure to share why it meant something to me, but also being sensitive to those who could take it differently.
This is what I shared…
I saw this post on Social Media; it had been shared by another person originally. When I saw it, I really liked it.
I like the simplicity of it. Short simple statements, yet they carry a lot of weight with them.
I like the honesty of it. Hurts will bleed, that is very honest. Healing comes after the hurt and bleeding, that is very honest too.
I like the challenge it presents. It challenges us to let pain do it’s thing, don’t hide or pretend it doesn’t hurt. But then it also challenges us to work through it, toward the place where you can move on.
I’ve always liked statements and quotes that are straight to the point; that are honest, challenging, and that are short and simple yet carry much weight with them. They make me think, ponder, and work through things in my mind.
And let’s be honest…I’m still working to heal from some pretty major hurts in my life. My desire is to continue to heal so I can learn what I need to learn, grow how I need to grow, and reach the place where I am able to move forward. But that means I have to let the wound bleed as it needs so that it is ready to heal properly…that’s part of the process.
So that’s why I shared this post.
But then I remembered that not everyone thinks through things the same way I do. Some may look at those short statements and see them as insensitive.
Because it is painful to allow a hurt to bleed. Some people aren’t ready to let it bleed all the way just yet.
Because healing doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone. Healing looks very different for each of us, and happens at different speeds.
Because the statement “let it go” can come across as very insensitive. To some, telling them to “let it go” feels like a complete dismissal of their hurt and pain.
After thinking about that, I decided to remove the post. Because while it meant a lot to me in a positive way, to others it could have been seen as insensitive and taken negatively.
So that’s why I removed this post.
HOWEVER, I am not saying there isn’t truth in this post. There most definitely is. It just requires more than the statement themselves to make sure everyone sees the heart behind the statements, and to see the truth for what it is. I know that far too often, a message can get lost in the delivery…if we don’t like how it’s delivered, we are less apt to hear it and take it to heart as we should.
So I want to explore this post and share the truths I believe it contains…
Let it hurt. Pain is real. Pain is a part of life. Some have experienced more hurt, and others less…but this isn’t a comparison. It’s simply an honest statement. I know the pain and hurt in my life, and you know the pain and hurt in yours. For each of us, it is real in our life.
The danger with pain is that we want it to be fixed IMMEDIATELY. Because we don’t like to hurt. Yet it’s still there, we still hurt, and it’s still painful. That’s an honest statement.
Let it bleed. When we hurt, there is a wound. A wound has a process through which it must heal. There is some bleeding involved. Physically and emotionally, bleeding happens.
The reality is, bleeding is not fun! It hurts, and we don’t want to let it happen. We try to cover it over and cope with the hurt in other ways, rather than allowing it to bleed as it needs to. Yes, we need to bandage a hurt, but the bleeding is also part of the healing and we need to allow it to happen as it needs.
It will eventually stop. May not always seem that way…but it will.
Let it heal. This is the hardest part I think…at least for me it is. It’s the hardest because it seems to take so much longer than I want it to. And often, a hurt will begin to heal, then get bumped again and part of it reopens, and there’s more healing that needs to take place.
This is why we must all realize that healing is a winding journey, and not just a specific destination. We don’t arrive at healing, we work our way toward healing. Some hurts can heal quicker, others will take a long time. And if we are really really honest, some hurts never completely heal 100%. There will always be a scar, a bruise, a sensitive spot that hurts from time to time. And we all heal differently.
However, I also want to say that this statement is one we need to take seriously. Because we do need to let it heal. We need to do whatever is necessary to work toward healing. Getting the right bandages, talking to the right people, allowing ourselves to process and learn and grow…that is necessary. If we just continue to stay in our hurt and pain and never work toward healing, we will always be stuck and frustrated and hurting.
The healing process hurts as you go through it, but as it heals more the pain will decrease as well. If we keep the hurt open and never work toward healing, we are just continuing to make ourselves hurt.
Let it go. To let something go doesn’t necessarily mean to forget about it and act like it never happened or never hurt. On the contrary! To let it go means to work through the hurt properly, moving toward healing, and as that happens the hurt has less power and influence and control.
When we let it go, we have and are learning from it, letting it become a part of our story, yet we aren’t letting it continue to control our thinking or actions, which keeps us from moving toward healing.
So here’s what I pray we all get from this post…
Be open and honest about your hurt. Allow that hurt to bleed as it needs to. Make sure to let it start to heal. And learn how you need to let it go in your own life as you move toward healing in your life.
It won’t always happen quickly or in a way that you can see the full process. But never give up. Continue on the journey as you need and are able, and allow the process to work in your life as it should.
Continue to move toward healing, because healing is a winding journey, not just a specific destination.