For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
The past couple of years, the theme in my life has been “a time to wait”. With all that God allowed to take place in my life, and all that I lost, I needed time to simply wait and heal while figuring out life all over again. For a while, I intentionally didn’t do much by way of socializing or getting involved in things, as I wanted to learn how to be ok on my own. That time also gave me a lot of extra time to really dive deep into prayer and scripture as I sought to deepen and strengthen my relationship with my Lord…which was a HUGE part of my healing process. I honestly cannot imagine going through all of this without my relationship with Jesus!
After a while, I slowly started to explore what my life outside of work or the times I am with my kids would be like. It took time as I felt very unsure and uncertain. I got involved in ministry on a simple level, started to hang out with friends from time to time, and even began to test the water in terms of dating again (which I’ll admit was very weird at first!). I moved slowly in all of this. At times I felt like myself in terms of confidence or being able to have fun. At other times I didn’t have much confidence, and it was honestly kind of hard to have fun. I know that is all part of the healing process, but it’s still weird to go through those ups and downs.
In the past couple of months, I’ve truly felt like I have reached a place where I feel more healed than not, more confident than not, and more able to have fun than not…and it’s nice to be in that place. I truly have begun to feel like myself again. There’s still struggles, and many things in my life are still very difficult…always will be that way at some level I’m sure…but being in a place of healing and feeling like myself again helps me be able to better deal with all of those difficulties and struggles.
I’m excited to say that I’m now in a place where the theme in my life can begin to change from “a time to wait” to “a time to move”. The past couple of months I’ve really begun to sense God preparing me to start moving forward into my future. It’s always exciting to sense God preparing for movement, but after a long period of waiting and healing, it’s that much more exciting!
Some of the moves in my near future will involve changes. Others will be entering into and trying something new. In both cases, I’m both nervous and excited about where God will lead and exactly what moving forward will look like. There’s a lot of unknowns still, but that ensures that I’m continually placing my faith in God as he guides me into the future, which is the way I want it to be.
One of the new things I’ll be entering into and trying out is an idea I have. As I continue to brainstorm about this idea, the more excited about making this idea become a reality I become. Within the next week I will be posting a blog that will explain this idea. Ultimately, the goal is to launch this idea completely in either August or September.
The name of this idea is “the Enough project”. More info coming shortly…