This evening when I got home from work, I was in the mood to just chill and watch a movie. As I was looking through my movies, I thought about one that I hadn’t seen for a long time. I did a search on my TV and found it available for rent through my cable service. I made some dinner and then sat down to watch the movie, ‘Joe Somebody’.

The movie came out a while ago, and I’m not sure it if was all that popular or successful. But for some reason I had always liked that movie, and today my memory reminded me of it. As I was eating dinner and watching it, I was reminded of a scene in the movie that always had the ability to get me choked up.

The main character in the movie has just recently gone through a divorce, and is struggling with life. Things at work are also not going so well…the movie is based around a major even that happens at work. As the main character is working through things in the movie, there’s a scene when he describes the pain he is feeling…

What a powerful word picture of the pain his character is feeling because of his divorce. I remember thinking it was a powerful description when I’d seen it in the past, but tonight as I was watching it, it hit me much differently than before. Not because the scene had changed in any way or because I hadn’t seen it in a while. Rather, it hit me much differently this time because I had changed. I now could actually understand the feeling that the character in the movie described. I now felt his pain, because it is also my pain. Before my divorce, the most I could do was feel sad for the character…and for people who understood that feeling in real life. But now after my divorce, I can actually feel what the character is talking about…I understand that feeling in real life.

I will admit that tears came to my eyes as I watched that scene. I just sat there for a moment processing what I had just heard, realizing that it still hurts when the wind blows through the hole in me as well. The word picture in that scene is powerful because it is a perfect description of the pain that divorce leaves in a person. It hurts, so much more than I ever knew before it happened to me.


Over the past couple of months, God has really been laying on my heart a desire to somehow use what happened in my life and the life of my children to help others going through the same thing. What it looks like or how it’ll happen has not been figured out yet, but it’s been on my heart and mind continually. One of my regular prayers through all that happened is that God would take and use this tragedy for good in some way. And while I have no idea what God is doing through this yet, and I will probably never know completely, I still want God to use this situation for his glory.

A couple of weeks ago my oldest child, Noah, said the following to me regarding what happened to our family. “God has a plan for us, and we need to trust him and learn what he wants us to learn through this.” There it is. God has a plan, and we need to trust him. Even in tragedies like divorce. We can still cling to the truth that God has a plan and we need to trust him.

If you are someone who has dealt with the tragedy of divorce in your life, and you need someone to talk to, I’m here. I’m willing to listen, talk, offer advice, and be a help to you as I can and God would lead me to be. I completely understand the pain…like you, I too have a hole through me. I know that God allows us to go through difficulties to grow us, mature us, strengthen us, and even use us to help others who are going through similar things…but I also understand that knowing that doesn’t make things any easier or less painful. So if you’re where I am, if you’re struggling and hurting, if you need someone who understands to listen and talk to, feel free to reach out.

 Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way. The Lord be with you all. (2 Thessalonians 3:16)